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Gilmore Girls S07 - Clip 05. Season 7: Clip 5 Keep her off the streets! - LORELAI: Oh...got it! Thank you! Am I smiling too much? - CHRISTOPHER: You're smiling a lot. - LORELAI: All right, I'll try to bring it down a notch. - EMILY: Well, it's about time. Oh, good. I get to walk this filthy floor again. I don't need any help walking. Thank you! Oh, thank you for giving me things that already belong to me. Well, you can all be very proud of yourselves. You're doing a crack job. You finally got menace-to-society Emily Gilmore off the streets. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. Come on. Put that thing away. - LORELAI: One, two, three! Ah! Smile! Cheese! Oh, I got you already. I'll get okay, later. Bye! - LORELAI: Do you mind if I turn on the music, mom? - EMILY: That's fine. - LORELAI: Whatcha in the mood for? "Jailhouse rock"? "Folsom prison blues"? - EMILY: You're very funny, Lorelai. - LORELAI: No, no, no. I know, I know. "Working on the chain gang." - EMILY: Yes, it's all quite amusing, isn't it? My being arrested, held behind bars, manhandled, and patted down? Hardee-har. - LORELAI: Aw. I just have one question for you, mom. Why on earth did you call me? I mean, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart for that incredible gift. You don't need to get me anything for the next five Christmases. But why did you call me, not dad? - EMILY: It was his first night teaching at Yale. He was having dinner with the dean. I'm not about to call him so he can excuse himself to come bail his wife out of jail. I can't begin to tell you how incompetent our police department is. That officer Peters who pulled me over -- he's going to be receiving a big, fat subpoena, and I'm not stopping there. Wait. What is this? What's this car? What's going on here? Are you two on a date? - LORELAI: No way. You are not changing the subject. We're not talking about anything else except you in the clink. Now, come on. Spill. What was it like on the inside, huh? Did you try to tunnel your way out with a spoon? You know. Did they try to make you join a gang? And, mom, now that you're on the outside and they're still on the inside, are they gonna try to use you as some kind of prison mule? I just... so much I need to know! Episode. |
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Gilmore Girls S07 - Clip 04. Season 7: Clip 4 Fear me. - TUTOR: It's a good sentence, but you want to make sure never to end with a preposition. - PARIS: If she ended the sentence with a preposition, how could it have been a good sentence? Sounds like a terrible sentence. - TUTOR: Well I was... - PARIS: You were just coddling her. You want to prop her up on your knee and burp her, maybe buy her a pony? I'm not paying you to make her feel better about her incompetence. If she can't construct a proper sentence, how is she gonna pass the essay section of the S.A.T.? - TUTOR: Well... - PARIS: That was rhetorical! Carry on. - PARIS: Why don't you go slower, Dalton? 'Cause you haven't been on the same page for the last 20 minutes or anything. - RORY: Okay, "doctor is to hospital as, "'a,' sports fan is to stadium, 'b,' ice is to freezer, 'c' professor is to college, or, 'd,' criminal is to jail?" - ERIC: Um, "a," sports fan is to stadium? - RORY: It's actually "c," professor is to college. When you're doing this kind of analogy, you have to be a little more specific than just filling in the blank with "is found in." A doctor works in a hospital, just as a professor works in a college. Make sense? - ERIC: You're really smart. - RORY: Thanks that's very sweet, Eric. And you're just as smart. I promise. - PARIS: Are you kidding? That's it! Pencils down. That means you, Casanova. Time is up! Everyone out, unless your parents want to start paying for overtime, which for many of you might be a good idea. Not so fast, employees. Today's work was shoddy at best. Between the overt coddling and the inappropriate flirting, I feel like I'm running a bordello. Gilmore, do you see any of my students falling in love with me? No, and do you know why? because you don't fall in love with people that make you want to crap your pants. I want to see terror in their eyes! Fear is a great motivator, people. Use it. What are you standing around here for? Episode. |
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Gilmore Girls S07 - Clip 03. Season 7: Clip 3 Kirk's is awesome. - T.J.: Sounds like you need a little caffeine. What say you and I go over to the diner across the street and pick us up a nice cup of coffee? - LUKE: Forget it. I'm fine. What diner across the street? - T.J.: This place - Kirk's. Great place. The owner's a real character and the coffee's fantastic. Come on, let me get you a cup, though maybe you ought to pay, seeing as I did pick us up the last round. - KIRK: Eggs sunny side up with a side of bacon. And who's got the scrambled with hashbrowns? Here we go. - LUKE: What the hell is going on here? - KIRK: Welcome to Kirk's. I'll be right with you. - LUKE: What is this? - KIRK: It's a diner, Luke. - LUKE: A diner called Kirk's? - KIRK: It's the name my mother gave me. Top you off there, Jake? - LUKE: Why are you doing this? - LUKE: I just saw a need, and I filled it. Seamed to me Stars hollow was in want of a real neighborhood joint, a watering hole where the townsfolk could mingle, a place where a fella could come and get a piece of pie, a cup of Arbuckles', and a soupcon of small-town charm. - LUKE: Yeah, well, stars hollow has already got that place. It's right across the street. It's called Luke's. Luke's, ring any bells? Sounds a little like Kirk's doesn't it. - KIRK: If you are suggesting that you were the very first person to think of naming a restaurant after yourself, I think that Denny, Arby, and Tony Roma might have something to say about that, not to mention Mr. Chuck E. Cheese. - LUKE: Chuck E. Cheese is not a person. - KIRK: Luke do you think a giant mouse opened a restaurant franchise by himself? - LUKE: Look at this -- French toast, pancakes, buttermilk pancakes. You stole my menu. - KIRK: You did not invent pancakes, Luke. Anyway, I heard Luke's went out of business. - LUKE: Luke's did not go out of business, Luke's is closed for repairs. And you want to know why it's closed? Because some nincompoop yesterday drove his car through my diner! - KIRK: Would you care to step outside for a moment, Luke? - LUKE: Outside? Outside what? - KIRK: I think it would behoove you not to use slanderous language like nincompoop in my place of business, Luke, because, let me tell you, it is only out of the kindness of my heart that I am not suing the pants off of you. - LUKE: Uh-hu you're gonna sue me after you crash a car into my diner and bust a giant hole in my wall? - KIRK: For all you know I could have brain damage. - LUKE: Oh, I'm pretty sure you do. You know what, Kirk? Go ahead. Sue me. Crash into my diner, make me lose a week's business, make me pay for the repairs, and then sue me for damages - for brain damages! That sounds fair! - KIRK: Luke, calm down. I get where you're coming from. I think we can work something out. - LUKE: What is this? - KIRK: A job application. The way business is picking up, I'm totally gonna need a fry guy. What it sounded like your finances were kind of tight. If you came expecting a handout, you came to the wrong guy. I'm of the "teach a man to fish" school, Luke. You do not throw trash on the floor of a restaurant Luke. Not cool. Episode. |
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Gilmore Girls S07 - Clip 02. Season 7: Clip 2 Taylor does it again. - RORY: What's going on here? - LULU: Taylor's putting a camera on the traffic light. - GYPSY: Big brother is watching. - TAYLOR: Okay, everyone. Thanks for coming. Now, as you know, small-town law enforcement presents many challenges. Chief among them, how to police our streets without an actual police force. Fortunately for the citizens of stars hollow, the fine people at Ingram traffic systems have provided an answer. I would now like to present the latest and greatest weapon in unmanned high-tech law enforcement. Ladies and gentlemen, the Auto Patrol P.R. 100. How it works is very simple. When someone drives through the red light, the camera will take three successive pictures of the offending party at closer and closer range. - GYPSY: Seems kind of intrusive to me. - TAYLOR: Law-abiding citizens have nothing to worry about. Now, we are going to have our ceremonial first lawbreaker played by Kirk. Kirk will drive my classic 1964 Ford Thunderbird down the street, through the red light, and the Auto Patrol P.R. 100 will capture him in all his law-breaking glory. Miss patty? - MISS PATTY: I'm on it. - KIRK: I'm okay! I'm okay! Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S07 - Clip 01. Season 7: Clip 1 The Paris Gellar Yale Review. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S06 - Clip 04. Season 6: Clip 4 You've got Kirk. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S06 - Clip 03. Season 6: Clip 3 Coffee overdose causes insanity. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S06 - Clip 02. Season 6: Clip 2 Living in the ghettos. - PARIS: Apartment 5 is Mrs.Holiday. She steals mail. Apartment 6 is the chilli cheese boys. Take the description at face value. I don't know who's in apartment 7 because meeting 5 and 6 was enough "it takes a village" for me. Here we are, apartment 8. - RORY: 8 is great. - PARIS: OK, now, you have to unlock the middle bolt first...the bottom bolt second...the top lock third...the bottom lock fourth. You got to kick the door twice. And that's it. - RORY: Wow, you really have to earn it, huh? - PARIS: It's just a precaution. It isn't really necessary. This neighborhood is only as scary as you make it. Those guys downstairs, they just look deadly. Believe me, they don't bother you if you don't bother them. When you have guests over, just tell them they're a Doo-Wop group. - PARIS: We keep the door fully locked, even when we're home. We actually added the chains after there were a couple of break-ins on the street, but we've never had any trouble. We've actually got a very sophisticated crime-prevention system set up here. When we leave, we always keep the radio on, rush Limbaugh of course, so they know we have guns in the house. The lights are all on a timer, so don't touch the switches, and there's a motion detector in the hallway, so don't freak out when it goes on at night. Now, over here is our trusty dog, Bloodhound. Excellent for magazine pushers and pamphlet bearers of all types. - RORY: You've got it all covered. - PARIS: Pretty much. That's our room. That's your room. They're both the same size, but we have an extra window 'cause Doyle has dreams about walls collapsing in on him, so he needs to sleep near glass. - RORY: Oh, my god! Were those gunshots? - PARIS: No, that was just a car backfiring. The real gunfire actually sounds fake. You'll pick it up eventually. They call it "ghetto ear." - RORY: Something to look forward to. - PARIS: Now, Doyle sleeps very deeply, so don't worry about the hours. I, as you know, haven't slept through the night since the first time I saw "The Wizard Of Oz", thank you Mum, so I tend to do my crafts in the middle of the night, but the walls are very thick. You won't hear a thing. Oh, now, the hot water in the bathroom... - DOYLE: AAAAAHHHH!!!! Aha! You let your guard down, Geller, and I did it. I got the best of you. - PARIS: I was giving a tour! - DOYLE: Admit your defeat! - PARIS: Never. Rematch. - DOYLE: Challenge accepted. - PARIS: Helmets on. - RORY: What are you doing? What's going on? - PARIS: When we moved into the neighbourhood, we thought it would be good to take some self-defence classes. - DOYLE: Krav Maga, official self-defence, hand-to-hand combat style of Israel. - RORY: Oh. - DOYLE: Krav Maga is not about being a tough guy or fighting in a ring. It's about going home alive, no matter what. - PARIS: And it's the rush. - DOYLE: Pads on. - PARIS: Attack on 3. 1...2... - RORY: OK, I'm gonna go get the rest of my stuff, so I'm just gonna... - DOYLE: Ugh! Steinbeck! Steinbeck! - PARIS: That's not your safety word. - DOYLE: I know. It's "Saroyan". - PARIS: You've been practicing behind my back. I love you. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S06 - Clip 01. Season 6: Clip 1 No means no. - LUKE: What in the hell do you think you're doing? - KIRK: I was just getting some coffee. - LUKE: You came behind my counter. - KIRK: I saw Lorelai do it the other day. - LUKE: Lorelai is my fiance. - KIRK: So only people you're sleeping with are allowed to go behind the counter? - LUKE: Yes. - KIRK: Well...I don't really know you that well, Luke. I mean, I know what you do for a living, and I know you're a Scorpio, and you smell OK, but we've never really connected on a deeper level... - LUKE: Get out from behind my counter, Kirk. - KIRK: Well, now it's a definite "no". Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S05 - Clip 03. Season 5: Clip 3 College is really like this. - COLIN: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - PROF. BELL: I'm right in the middle of a class, young man. - COLIN: I know, I'm sorry, I just-- Rory, you can't just walk out like that. Not after everything we've been through. You just left. I was still in bed. I mean what is that all about? - PROF. BELL: Ok, you need to do this later. - COLIN: I can't do this later. Rory I love you. I love you, dammit! How many times to I have to tell you? God! Just talk to me. - PROF. BELL: Ok, out right now! Out! Just get-- - LOGAN: Colin! What are you doing, man? - COLIN: Get the hell out of here! - LOGAN: She's with me now. I told you that. Let it go. - COLIN: I will not let it go! - LOGAN: She doesn't love you. Rory, tell him you don't love him! - COLIN: Everything was fine until you came along! - LOGAN: Oh, don't blame me because you couldn't keep her. - COLIN: I swear to god, I'm gonna kill you! - LOGAN: Oh, I'd love to see you try. - PROF. BELL: Stop it! Stop it, right now! Anthony, get security! Break it up! What are you-- Gentlemen, you are losing control! You are in a classroom! - FINN: All right, that's enough! Break it up, you two! Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed of yourself, toying with these boys like this! They used to have pride! They used to have dignity! They used to have balls! Dammit Gilmore, give them back their balls. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S05 - Clip 02. Season 5: Clip 2 Speed Dating rocks. - WOMAN: I'd like to welcome you all to today's speed-dating session. Many of you have been with us before. Many of you are first timers. So, for the latter group, here are the rules. Each couple will have one minute to talk and get a sense of the person across from them. When the bell rings, the women will get up and switch tables. Men, stay where you are. This will continue until every woman has met every man and after that it's up to you. Are you all ready? Then, let the dating begin. - JACK: I'm Jack. - PARIS: I'm Paris. - JACK: Did your parents travel a lot? - PARIS: Why? - JACK: Your name's Paris. - PARIS: No. Did your parents change flat tires a lot? - JACK: What? - PARIS: Or plug the phone into the wall a lot? - JACK: No. - PARIS: Great! So, we've cleared up that mystery. What's next on your fascinating list of talking points? - JACK: Uh, what's your major? - PARIS: Seriously, you've got one minute to make an impression and that's all you can come up with? You want to know my sign too, Jack? Or how about my favorite color? Or if I'm a Britney or a Christina? Here, I'll ask you a question. Was the last time you had an interesting thought, when you considered flinging yourself off a building? - PARIS: Bye, Jack. I'll write Mother immediately. - PARIS: Paris, and no my parents didn't travel. - BILLY: Billy, and I have no idea what that means. - PARIS: Never mind. So, what's your story, Billy? - BILLY: Well, I'm a drama major. - PARIS: Ding, ding, ding! - PARIS: Doyle. - DOYLE: Paris. - PARIS: Surprised to see you here. - DOYLE: I could say the same for you. - PARIS: So, you find any good prospects? - DOYLE: Oh, yes. One girl wants to have 11 children. - PARIS: Good god! - DOYLE: And the second one was cut off quickly, thank you by the way. I think the words 'latter day saints' were about to come out of her mouth. - PARIS: I can't believe I came here. - DOYLE: This is my third time. - PARIS: You ever meet anyone you actually wanted to date? - DOYLE: My bar is so not that high. - PARIS: I don't see one person in this room that shouldn't be sterilized immediately. - DOYLE: Right there with you. - PARIS: So you've been reading about those skeletons they've been finding on the island of Flores, right? - DOYLE: Oh, yeah, and they're only 13,000 years old. That's nothing in geological time. - PARIS: They made tools and probably had a language. And-- - PARIS: Keep moving sister. - DOYLE: They were supposed to be master hunters. - PARIS: Even though they were diminutive in size. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S05 - Clip 01. Season 5: Clip 1 Farmer Boy and the Bunny-looking girl. PARIS: You're back with Farmer Boy? What gives? RORY: Paris -- PARIS: I thought he was married. RORY: He was -- now he's not. PARIS: Well, well -- Hoss returns. Who would've thunk? RORY: I'm going in my room now. PARIS: Just hold on. We have to figure this out. RORY: Figure what out? PARIS: You're going to be bringing boys home now. We need a system. RORY: I'm not bringing "boys" home. I'm bringing "boy" home. That boy - that's it. PARIS: I assume you're having sex. RORY: Paris! PARIS: You're having sex. Well, luckily, I just bought some noise-reducing headphones, so that'll help. RORY: Oh boy. PARIS: If I put the headphones on, then stuff towels under the door, that should do the trick. RORY: Hey, if you've got extra towels to stuff, I got a location suggestion. PARIS: How loud are you? RORY: Paris, stop. PARIS: Look, I don't care. I just need the information to formulate a good plan. I mean, you look all small and squeaky, but sometimes, it's exactly the bunny-looking girls who can blow the roof off the barn. I know, just give me a three-minute warning. RORY: I'm walking away now. PARIS: That way, I have time to put everything in place. Put headphones on, et cetera. RORY: Bye. PARIS: Is he gonna be coming over a lot? Probably, right? He's at his peak now, and it's probably one of the only things he's good at so... RORY: Three-minute warning! PARIS: Right. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 07. Season 4: Clip 7 Her nickname, Sweetie. - LORELAI: Don't tell me this is what it looks like. - EMILY: It's escargot. - LORELAI: Ugh. That's what it looks like. - RORY: Snails? - EMILY: Escargot. - LORELAI: Slimy thing by any other name... - RICHARD: They taste like garlic and butter. - LORELAI: Don't say "they." Food should not have pronouns. - RICHARD: Give it a try. - LORELAI: But if I do and we're having road kill for the main course, then I will already have used up my allotment of gross-out food for the day, so I'll abstain. - RICHARD: I guess we should strike escargot off the list of Friday night dinner foods. - EMILY: Sweetie loved escargot. That's funny how we remember those things. - RICHARD: Hm. - LORELAI: Sweetie? - RORY: Sweetie who? - EMILY: Sweetie Nelson, one of my oldest friends. She passed away yesterday. - RORY: Oh, I'm sorry, Grandma. - LORELAI: Yeah, I've heard you mention her. - RORY: Was she sick? - EMILY: She'd been ill for some time, but still... - RICHARD: The family is pretty overwhelmed. - EMILY: By the way, Davis called late today. The funeral is going to be Sunday. - LORELAI: Was that her real name -- Sweetie? - EMILY: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname. - LORELAI: Why? - EMILY: What do you mean, why? - LORELAI: I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda? - EMILY: They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname. - LORELAI: Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something. - EMILY: She was sweet. That's the story. - LORELAI: Okay. - EMILY: She had a very sweet nature. - LORELAI: Hm. - EMILY: Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai? - LORELAI: No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story. - EMILY: No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you? - LORELAI: Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's -- - EMILY: All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man -- so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that? - LORELAI: Now, that was a pretty good story. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 06. Season 4: Clip 6 Kirk and the Man Purse. - LUKE: Kirk. - KIRK: Luke. - LUKE: What's with the - - KIRK: It's not a purse! - LUKE: I wasn't gonna say "purse." - KIRK: Oh... Sorry. - LUKE: What's with the gay bag? - KIRK: It's a dog carrier. My girlfriend's gone out of town with some friends, and I'm watching Buster for her. And they're girlfriends, not guys. I called the hotel she booked and verified that it's a girl's name on the register with her. Not that I don't trust her. - LUKE: Clearly. - KIRK: Over there okay? - LUKE: Sure. Carol, Danny, Jamie, Sean, Chris? - KIRK: What's that? - LUKE: Just a list of guys' names that could be girls. You want coffee? - KIRK: Yes. - LUKE: What is this? - LORELAI: Phone cord. - LUKE: I can't have this here. - LORELAI: Don't worry. It's not plugged in to your regular line. It's the fax line you put in a year ago that you never use. - LUKE: You mean the fax line you made me put in to get in fax orders, even though no one has ever wanted to put in a fax order, and I never got the fax machine, like I told you I would never, ever get the fax machine, making the fax line pointless. - LORELAI: Hold on... Let me get on the "Guinness World Records" website. Yes, that's the most times anyone has ever used the word "fax" in a sentence. - LUKE: Just be quick with this. - LORELAI: Man, I love e-mail. Every day Rory and I write each other multiple times. It's great. - LUKE: You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them? - LORELAI: Wrong perspective. E-mail is a return to the romantic days of letter writing. It's pure Dickens. - LUKE: Why Dickens? - LORELAI: It's just when I picture letter writing, I picture Charles Dickens. - LUKE: Charles Dickens wrote more letters than other people? - LORELAI: No, it's just I can easily picture him in his study with his dog and his pipe and his fancy feathered pen, writing "Cheerio, old bean. Have a cup of tea. How's Big Ben? How's the Tower of London, Sister Suffragette? Tuppence a bag." - LUKE: Sounds like an idiot. - CAESAR: Hey, Luke, coffee?. - LUKE: Oh, this is embarrassing. - LORELAI: I could unplug, but then I'd just have to start the whole process all over again. - LUKE: Or you could just eat here and save e-mailing for when you're...excuse me [A delayed realization sinks in and he walks over to Kirk's table.] You have a dog there? - KIRK: No. Why? - LUKE: Just putting two and two together. - KIRK: Well, it's coming out five. Buster is at home, asleep. - LUKE: Mm-hmm. Okay. What'll you have? - KIRK: Oatmeal, extra brown sugar on the side, and a pound of raw hamburger. Or just the oatmeal will be fine. - LORELAI: Voila! - LUKE: This does nothing. - LORELAI: It makes it easier to limbo under. - LUKE: This is my place. I shouldn't have to limbo. - KIRK: You still sleepy? - LORELAI: Why is Kirk talking to his man purse? - KIRK: You got sleepy face. You have to tinkle? Uh, where is that? Just looking for my Lucky magazine, and, uh...ow! Paper cut. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 05. Season 4: Clip 5 Trix owning bitches. - EMILY: Here she is, Mom, Lorelai. The party just gets bigger. - LORELAI: Hi, Gran, how are you doing? You look great. - TRIX: Emily, what is the matter with her hair? - EMILY: Oh, well... - TRIX: I know my granddaughter. If she had received proper notice of my arrival, she would have done something about it. - EMILY: I told her in plenty of time, Mom. - LORELAI: She really did, Gran. I swear. - TRIX: I think it is admirable of you to cover for your mother. The importance of family loyalty simply cannot be measured. Sit, dear. Other than your hair, you look well. Are you well? Emily, perhaps the girl would like a drink. - LORELAI: I am very well. - TRIX: Good. How is Rory? - LORELAI: She's just as healthy as I am. - EMILY: [from the bar] And her hair is perfect. - TRIX: And how is she doing at Yale? - LORELAI: She's doing great, studying her butt off. - TRIX: Oh, how charming to hear. I'm glad she's doing well. She is a Gilmore, after all. Gilmores have always excelled at Yale. They have quite a legacy to live up to. - LORELAI: Well, your legacy is safe with her. - EMILY: Mom, here are the nuts. - TRIX: Oh, thank you, Emily, for that announcement. How wonderful that you don't need some sort of amplification system in order to make sure that everyone in the area is informed about the arrival of the nuts. - EMILY: I'm sorry. - TRIX: Strange woman, so excited about nuts. - RICHARD: I smell jasmine. - TRIX: You smell impatience. Where have you been? - RICHARD: You know very well where I've been. [kisses Trix's cheek] I had some work to get out of the way so I could devote my full attention to you. You look wonderful. Florida agrees with you. - TRIX: Florida agrees with muscle-bound men who dress like women. I am much happier to be back here where I belong. Would you like a nut? They seem to be very important to your wife. - EMILY: I thought you liked those nuts, Mom. - RICHARD: I'm fine, Trix. I have someone I would like you to meet. Lorelai, have you been there the whole time? - LORELAI: Yes, I have. - RICHARD: Well, I didn't see you. - LORELAI: Well, I had my cloaking device activated, so -- - RICHARD: Trix, this is my partner, Jason Stiles. Jason, this is my mother. - JASON: It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Gilmore. - TRIX: You are very young. - JASON: Oh, no, no, no, not so young. - TRIX: I think I know if someone is young or not. - EMILY: For God's sake, Jason, just be young. - LORELAI: Cloaking device, never leave home without it. - TRIX: Richard Gilmore, you're growing a mustache. - EMILY: I know, the Ferrari is arriving on Tuesday. - TRIX: I like it. - RICHARD: Thank you, Trix. - TRIX: It makes you look like Adolphe Menjou. - EMILY: Or Adolphe Menjou's cocaine dealer. - TRIX: What is that? - JASON: Well, actually, this is a little present that I got for you. - TRIX: For me? - JASON: Yes. - TRIX: Why would you give me a present? - JASON: Well.. - TRIX: It's not my birthday. It's not Christmas. - JASON: Yes, but... - TRIX: You don't even know me. - JASON: No, but you're Richard's mother, so I thought -- - TRIX: What is it? What is this present that you got for an old woman you've never met? - JASON: It's a book. - TRIX: What sort of book? - JASON: It's a book on French antiques. I heard you liked French antiques. - TRIX: I do like French antiques. - JASON: You can just open it later. - TRIX: Absolutely not -- I am company. You don't answer the phone when you have company, so put it away and turn it off. - LORELAI: Yes, Gran. - TRIX: Now, shall we all take turns guessing how long it will be before lunch is served? I will say an hour. Richard? - RICHARD: You are bad, Trix. Episode |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 04. Season 4: Clip 4 Michel and IT. - LORELAI: Stop. What's going on? Why are we in the bedroom? - MICHEL: I offered to babysit. - LORELAI: I'm sorry, you did what? - MICHEL: I heard Sookie talking to the potato man about wanting to go out, and there was no one to watch the baby, so I offered to watch it for her. - LORELAI: It? - MICHEL: Him. Watch him for her. - LORELAI: And she let you? - MICHEL: Yes, she let me. So I came over, and the minute that she left, it started to cry. - LORELAI: It? - MICHEL: Him, he started to cry. He wouldn't stop. I did everything. I did the jiggle and the bouncy and the airplane, and then I even picked it up. - LORELAI: It? - MICHEL: Him, dammit, him! I picked him up, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't stop crying. So finally I invented a game. - LORELAI: What kind of game? - MICHEL: I called it baby crepe. - LORELAI: I don't think I know that one. - MICHEL: Well, it's quite ingenious. You get down here on the floor and then you roll him up in a blanket and then you pull it back and forth and back and forth. He loved it. He did not cry, he smiled, he giggled. He was having the time of his life. And then. . . - LORELAI: Oh no. - MICHEL: I pulled back the blanket a little too hard. - LORELAI: What? - MICHEL: And he rolled under the bed. - LORELAI: What? - MICHEL: And he got stuck. - LORELAI: Oh! Oh my God! - MICHEL: I tried to get him out, but I couldn't get him to grab the string, and then he fell asleep, and I worried if I woke him up, the screaming would start again. - LORELAI: I can't believe you rolled little Davey under the bed. - MICHEL: Davey? - LORELAI: Yes, Davey - Sookie's baby. - MICHEL: Is that his name? I've been calling him Truman. - LORELAI: Why? - MICHEL: I thought that's what his name was. - LORELAI: Where'd you get Truman from? - MICHEL: I don't know, I heard it wrong, okay? Do you think he's gonna hold this against me? - LORELAI: What, the man that rolled him under the bed? No, I think you're good. Episode Michael Michelle |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 03. Season 4: Clip 3 Kirk's Date. - KIRK: Say I was Tom Cruise. Where would you seat me? - LUKE: In an acting class. - KIRK: No, I mean, which do you consider the best seat in the house? - LUKE: I don't know. - KIRK: How are the acoustics here? - LUKE: What? - KIRK: Well, the bathrooms are right over there. One good loud flush and the entire mood is spoiled. - LUKE: I don't have time to kill you right now, Kirk. Come back in a couple of hours. - KIRK: All right, I'll just reserve these three tables and decide later. - LUKE: Reserve these three - - KIRK: For Wednesday night, eight o'clock. - LUKE: We don't take reservations, Kirk. - KIRK: But this is a special occasion. And Lorelai told me to go somewhere I'm comfortable, and I'm comfortable here. - LUKE: You are? - KIRK: Well, not at this moment, but previously I have been comfortable here. Please? - LUKE: What's the occasion? - KIRK: I have a date with a young lady. - LUKE: You really felt the need to add the "with a young lady" part? - KIRK: Kinda. - LUKE: Okay, you can have one table for eight o'clock. - KIRK: Thank you. Here. - LUKE: What's this? - KIRK: It's a diagram of how I would like the table set up. See - little flowers by her plate, and the champagne bucket over here so I don't accidentally knock it off the table with my elbow. - LUKE: I don't sell champagne, Kirk. - KIRK: Why not? - LUKE: Because this is a diner. - KIRK: Good champagne goes with everything. - LUKE: Get your own champagne, Kirk. - KIRK: But what about the flowers? - LUKE: Kirk. - KIRK: Okay, fine. I'll get the champagne and the flowers. Now, let's say the date goes well. How much for the place upstairs? - LUKE: You mean my apartment? - KIRK: Yes. - LUKE: Bye, Kirk. - KIRK: Okay, see you later. [to female customer] Excuse me, is that good? - CUSTOMER: Yes. - KIRK: And what is that? - CUSTOMER: Meat loaf. - KIRK: Okay, so, this meat loaf, is it a romantic food for you? I mean, is it getting you hot? - LUKE: Kirk! - KIRK: Good talking to you. Episode Kurt |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 02. Season 4: Clip 2 Angry Luke. - LORELAI: Hey, Luke. What's going on? - LUKE: Oh, well. . .Tom called. The banister on the stairs has to be replaced. It'll be $4,000. Tamsin Cordally called. He needs a deposit on the quartersawn oak. It'll be $4,000. Julio the landscaper called. I have no idea what he said, but it's going to be $4,000. Vicki from Vicki's Horse Supply called. She thinks Pepper and Gunsmoke would suit your needs, but Gunsmoke snores, so the stables can't be too close to the guests' bedrooms. Rory's looking for her black Converse, and, oh, one last thing - I'm not taking messages for you anymore! - LORELAI: Sorry. - LUKE: What did you do, have business cards printed up? - LORELAI: People just know I'm here a lot. - LUKE: I missed a call from my meat guy because I was on the phone discussing Gunsmoke's deviated septum. - LORELAI: I'm gonna call all these people today and tell them never to call me here again. - LUKE: You bet you will. - LORELAI: Consider it done. - LUKE: Good. - LORELAI: Just - - LUKE: What? - LORELAI: Just, uh, one more thing. Did a package arrive for me here today? - LUKE: What? - LORELAI: I'm sorry. Never mind, never mind. - ED: Luke. Sorry. I'm cutting it kind of close here. - LUKE: Oh, sorry, Ed. I didn't realize you were cutting it kind of close. Everybody, drop everything. Ed's cutting it kind of close. Here's your tickets. - ED: You seem mad. - LUKE: Look, Ed, just go to the game and enjoy it, okay? Choke on a hot dog while you're at it. - ED: I have to tell you, Luke, I am never accepting anything free from you again. - LUKE: What a threat! Boy, you're a real master of fear, there, Ed. Look out, Jason and Freddy. Ed may never mooch off of either one of you ever again! - LORELAI: What is wrong with you? - LUKE: Nothing. - LORELAI: You're yelling at Ed. - LUKE: Ah, Ed bugs me. - LORELAI: Ed cries. - LUKE: I'm just having a bad day. again! Episode Lorelai Mail Messages Tickets |
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Gilmore Girls S04 - Clip 01. Season 4: Clip 1 Luke vs. Lawyers: Round 1+2! - RUSSELL: I'm Russell Bynes. I'm with Blodgett, Sage, Albet, Pettruccio, Stein, Lemming, and Stein, attorneys for Nicole Diana Leahy. - LUKE: And the sun just went down, thanks for coming. - RUSSELL: Pardon me? - LUKE: You're wasting your time. I had a simple question, where do I sign? It didn't require a personal visit. - RUSSELL: Whoa, whoa, there's no place to sign because this is just a document informing the defendant of the type of action being filed. - LUKE: What are you talking about? Who's the defendant? - RUSSELL: You are. - LUKE: Oh my God. - RUSSELL: Didn't you read the papers? - LUKE: Yeah, the Red Sox lost by three, Bush is at the ranch chatting up a Swiss dude. - RUSSELL: The divorce papers. - LUKE: I know what you meant. Look, I didn't kill anyone. Nicole and I just kind of accidentally got married and now we want out. We both want the same thing. - RUSSELL: Don't try to play me, MR. Danes. - LUKE: I'm too busy for this. - RUSSELL: Fine, because I should just be dealing with your legal representation. - LUKE: I don't believe this. - RUSSELL: Not giving us your lawyer's information is only going to prolong the process. - LUKE: Okay, if I give you my lawyer's name, will you leave? - RUSSELL: I will leave. - LUKE: Okay, you ready? - RUSSELL: Yes. - LUKE: His name is Don Dewey. He works at the firm of Dewey. . . - RUSSELL: Dewey. - LUKE: Cheatham. . . - RUSSELL: Cheatham. - LUKE: And Howe. - RUSSELL: Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe. That was very immature. - LUKE: Yeah, well, tickled me. - RUSSELL: My bosses are gonna wanna hear this. - LUKE: Oh, come on, they've heard that one before. Oh, hey, if you want Don's number, it's 555-5555. - MR. STEIN 1: MR. Danes, a marriage contract is a contract just like any other. - MR. STEIN 2: As the higher wage earner, Nicole wants a fair settlement. - LUKE: But I want nothing from her, so there's nothing to settle, MR. . . what's your name again? - MR. STEIN 1: My name is Stein. - LUKE: I thought you were Stein. - MR. STEIN 2: I'm Stein as well. - LUKE: Well, then I'm confused. - MR. BLODGETT: MR. Danes, I'm an impatient man, I'm a busy man, I'm a sensible man, I'm a skeptical man. - LUKE: Oh, you're four different men, huh? Well, are they all named Stein, too? - MR. BLODGETT: If there's one thing I've learned in this business, it's that no one wants nothing. - MR. STEIN 2: Why won't you hire a lawyer? - LUKE: Why? Because lawyers waste time and money. They're needless middlemen who slither into people's lives when they're at their most vulnerable so they can clamp on and suck like leeches until everyone but them is distraught and penniless. - MR. STEIN 1: Well, I can see why the marriage went bad. - MR. BLODGETT: Here's fair warning, MR. Danes - if you don't hire a lawyer, you could wind up getting absolutely nothing. - LUKE: That's what I want! - LUKE: They're gonna multiply like the matrix. - LORELAI: Oh, well. . . - MR. BLODGETT: Who's this? - LUKE: This is Lorelai. - MR. STEIN 1: Are you an attorney? - LUKE: No, she's carbon-based. - LUKE: MR. Blodgett, Steins one and two, there you go. - MR. STEIN 1: Your choice of character witness does nothing to allay our concerns. - LORELAI: Sorry. [goes back to the counter] - MR. BLODGETT: The bottom line, time. If we do not receive a response in this matter, we're just going to have to kick this up a notch. - LUKE: Okay, there is something I want, but I've been holding back. - MR. BLODGETT: As we suspected. - MR. STEIN 2: Let's hear it. - LUKE: Okay, you know Nicole and I went on a cruise, right? - MR. STEIN 2: Oh boy. - MR. STEIN 1: Oh yeah. - LUKE: Well, the first night on the boat we, uh, went to see an act that everyone was raving about. We go in, sit down, they close the door. Turned out to be a guy playing musical drinking glasses. You know, with the half-filled cups that give off different tones. He played Mozart, and I swear I could hear Mozart banging on his coffin. Out of politeness, we stayed, and there went an hour of our lives. Next night, the sign in front of the theater said the entertainment for the night was a guy singing the songs of Sinatra. We verified with the guy at the door, the songs of Frank Sinatra, right? Not Tina, not Frank Jr., not Bill Sinatra, but Ol' Blue Eyes. "Yes," he says. "It's like Frank come to life." We go in, sit down, they close the door. Then they announce that the guy singing Sinatra is sick and the glass-playing guy is filling in. Out he comes, there's goes another hour. Next night, we meet a nice couple while walking the Lido Deck. Had some nice conversation, so we have dinner with th - MR. BLODGETT: We'll have to confer on this. - MR. STEIN 1: Maybe do a productivity study. - LUKE: Yeah, get Blobb, Fromm and Pinnuccio in there, too. Episode Lorelai Rory Lawyer Nicole Magicial Drinking Glass Mozart Frank Tina Jr. Bill Sinatra |
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Scrubs S06 - Clip 08. Season 6: Clip 8 Shadow Puppet Theatre! Episode JD Tod Todd Ted Jordon Cox Shadow Puppet Theatre Pearl Harbor |
